It is About Time

Well, as part of my many New Year’s resolutions, I am going to try and maintain some sort of blog. I figure “Why not? Blogging is the new narcissism.” Then again, I do think I am supremely important, and obviously do not possess the disposable time to maintain such a time-intensive effort just to keep the naïve masses informed. HA! Just kidding! Really, I think I am just too lazy to update this regularly, but I’ll give it a try.

So, I will title this entry: It is About Time

Not to disappoint my numerous fans, but this title actually has nothing to do with your ubiquitous requests for me to begin blogging. Rather, this entry refers to a much anticipated, if not long overdue event my wife and I encountered this evening … and it is about time!

After experiencing far too many encounters with MALE video store clerks, movie ticket-takers, and rent-a-cops of ambiguous sexual-orientation (not that there is anything wrong with that!) pursuing far more than our casual customer / service representative relationship would suggest, I finally got a welcome reprieve.

By the way, for those of you who are curious, no, the presence of my wife has absolutely no adverse impact on the advances perpetrated on my person by these inappropriately intimate epicenes. Quite to the contrary in fact, apparently my wife’s presence seems to inspire even more coy smiles, inquiries about my plans for the evening, etc., as if her presence represents some sort of challenge to them, or is some sort of ruse. While, if I were otherwise inclined, I might find the attention flattering, to borrow a phrase from the Urban Dictionary: “Hommie don’t roll like that!” But I digress, so back to the story at hand…

My wife and I went to a local movie theater (careful to avoid one of my “admirers” at a different theater), and purchased our tickets without incident. However, once we had our tickets in hand and approached the employee endowed with the power to admit us to our particular theater, things took and all too familiar turn … fortunately, I was not the victim of this particular inappropriate familiarity.

As we approached the nice young gentleman, he bashfully smiled at my wife, and without hesitation, began inquiring about the nature of her injury (Tiffany has a stress fracture from running, and is wearing an air cast on her left leg). Now, I think most people would agree one or two questions along this line does not necessarily constitute anything particularly out of the ordinary. Nevertheless, the inquisition continued for a good 2 to 3 minutes, and the young man seemed to become more and more enamored with each response. I was just waiting for him to ask for her (our!) phone number. Eventually, Tiffany was finally able to excuse us as we were going to be late for our show … a good excuse, since introducing me as her husband would likely have had little effect on the conversation.

Now alone, as we walked to Theater 17 and just barely made our show on time, I quietly laughed to myself, and thought “It is about time!” At least my wife can rest comfortably in the knowledge that she and I seem to have the same luck with men.